Ok diary here's the thing.. fate really has a funny way of making ur life twist and turn.. the least unexpected thing i expected to happen happen.. Yea its like all this while i have been whining whether will i find tat love.. will it appear and yada yada yada... Guess wat... it did,, its like something hit u so fast tat u didn't even know wat hit u.. I am not gonna describe the details here cos i want it to stay in my memory while it lasted..

I must admit i am ecstatic but hey being the complicated person tat no one knows somehow there is a tiny weeny itsy bitsy stuff tat i am concerned abt.. Its like it happens so fast... is tis gonna be another jus a short ride or a long memorable journey of my life..And for once i need to stop feeling tis insecurity tat i am feeling.. I jus cant shake it off.. need to stop with having doubts.. But dun blame me for putting my guards up cos i've been hurt so much and its surprising tat i am still allowing myself to fall in love again. Funny huh. I will never learn will i.. This persistence i have scares me too..

Anyway i cannot let history repeat itself.. there is something i need to change.. not to act based on my emotions alone.. Now its a whola a diff game.. so its a new book a new chapter. I am not going thru getting to know tat person's past cos i know i will not be happy if i listen to it.. So now as much as i wan to give my all i still am uncertain whether is tis really happening..

How strong or true u r towards me.. I tot i saw a lil bit of jealousy when i talked to the yet another unexpected encounter with a net fren whom i saw for the first time.. i tot i saw the change of facial expression on ur face... or maybe its jus my imagination. ha ha i am a very imaginative person wat can i say.. but hey u r a whola hot person its me who would feel a lil bit uneasy cos its like so many ppl would die to get to know ya and all.. Oh well like i said things always happens for a reason..

Now i need to learn more abt u.. understand u.. its still new of cos everything is gonna be sweet and nice. jus wait before u know it the dirt would be seen.. but hey be it how bad it can get i am still gonna accept u cos u r who u r. I accepted ur proposal tat nite at west coast and must say tats the sweetest moment i ever had., Jus one thing.. i jus hope u dun understand why u dun want the guys in the group to know.. i dunno why u r so scared if they know.. u said there are going to be drama but hey.. Sooner or later they will see it.. actions speaks louder than words.. Right now.. i am jus dun wan to push watever is happening. i need to act rationally from now on.. I dun wan to be a clingy bf. neither would i want to nelgect u even for a sec. wat i am saying i am gonna play my cards with cautious cos tis is something i wouldn't want to jeopardise. I jus hope i get a job soon and tat would make my life complete and i dun have to worry abt being short of cash,.. And if any of the CB guys read tis entry.. i am sorry to whoever tat had to fork out money for me especially ina and ikwan so tat i can club together.. Really i am sorry u guys.. I will make it up to u guys.. I know where i stand so the next time u guys going clubbin i wont be coming k cos at the moment i know i cant afford it. and i dun wan to be a burden.. So guys.. if u do visit my blog.. i am sorry..