Today was jus another boring day.. Went out late ard 8 plus to meet my fren for a while to get something from him before meeting ina under her block. There we chit chatted and must say i never felt so relax.. jus dun feel like going back cos i know once i am back hme my life gonna be a standstill again..

I realise i am jus like the Tv ya u heard me the TV. once u switch it off it becomes dull, quiet and boring but when u switched on its full of life so many things to see and so exciting.. Once i am hme feels like i am in a cave no one to talk too except for the walls and other tangible stuff now i wont go there yet cos trust me when i am there i am better off in the asylum..

Frens.. how i wish i can really have a real fren.. i dun wanna be the observer anymore.. i wan to participate in the picture.. no longer jus a passing person in someone's life.... Sad to say... despite everything... i feel alone... alone tat it hurts so much.. If it weren't my strong will to live i dun think i would stay alive this far..

I wan to be in love... i wan to feel like i am needed.. i wan a life tat i can look back happily when i am old.. It scares me tat i might jus end up dying alone one day with no one noticing me passed away... I am bothered with the way i am now.. i dun expect anything.. but jus maybe a little hope to look forward into the future.. I need... i need... love....

Y can someone who is so bubbly and easygoing like me feel so insecure... I.. i wan to stroll along the beach and watch sunset and cuddle up till the sun sets.. i wan to snuggle up beside that person in bed and lay my arms ard tat person and have breakfast by the bed.. Maybe for ppl like me tat is something tat is hard to accomplish.. it has always been the case.. Maybe tats how my life is going to be... Maybe...