How could I..
Right now i jus feel with a mixtures of moods.. One part feel happy the other depressed. As matter of fact i dunno la wats the problem with me. Why i am feeling this insecure at this very moment. I am relfecting my life, my love life. my future, everything i guess..

Sometimes i dun mean to lie but yet i did it.. and why i did it well i guess its because of a stupid reason. Insecure.. Maybe partly i am a scorpio too i guess.. Sometimes could jus be secretive and mysterious.. But still i have to stop doing tat. Jus dun wanna do tat anymore. I feel bad each time i do tat. Well all i did was white lies la nothing big really.

I guess my conscience is always getting the best of me.. So God if u hear me i am sorry for lying. Its not tat i enjoy doing it i am regretting it. I am going to instil as much honesty as i can..

Man.. it feels so much better to bring my inner feelings out.. How i jus wish i could make everyone happy.. I seen too much suffering and pain in my life. Firstly when my family breaks up due to my father running away into another country to marry a younger woman and leave us in the lurch, second the death of my late uncle whom i tended to when he was suffering from a stroke, 3rdly a failed relationship whereby i put in so much love and effort, 4thly the lost of my grandpapa.. i know i cant control all these its all part and parcel of life but if i can make a diff to lessen the chance of it happening i would do my best to do it.. Make sense? i hope.. Oh well tats it for self reflection tis time.

On the other hand Hari Raya is jus a few days away! So many things to do! I would like to wish all Muslims Selamat Menyambut Syawal Yang bakal tiba! Riang ceria selalu. Maafkanlah kesalahan ku yg sengaja atau tidak sengaja dari hujung rambut ker hujun kaki. Semoga kengkawanku gembira dia hari mulia ini nanti di samping keluarga tersayang..